My Trip: Day 17, Going home 

July 9th,  2017

Nothing to do today but fly and sit in airports.  I left our hotel in a taxi to the hotel as I said goodbye to Bucharest and soon to Europe altogether.  This was the trip of a lifetime and I probably won’t get another trip like this until I’m retired or have a long vacation from my future career. 

Travelling was an extremely fun and new experience that I will never forget.  It showed me what it’s like on the other side of the planet.  How different people live outside of America.  It made me feel small compared to this vast planet we live in. Discovery channel never really cut it for me in terms of showing how others live in Europe.  experiencing it in person is the real way of learning. Thia year has been so great so far.  I met my girlfriend and learned that my life wasn’t ao bad.  I traveled outside of the country and I lived on the other side of the state and experienced that.  I’ve really pushed myself to try new things and I’m proud of myself.  There’s more planned for me this year.  I hope to see my girlfriend this summer and I hope to go to Vegas for my 21st birthday in November and I plan to go skydiving.  I plan to go back to school in my hometown and find a job I can stay at for a long period.  

I have many plans for the future and I believe this year is the start of it all.  I needed to get travelling out of the way and broaden my horizon a little before I narrowed my sights back on school.  I needed this trip for sure.  Now all I need ia to see my girlfriend and I will be set on beginning my life.  

The first hour and a half flight was a breeze. The security in Istanbul was a breeze,  I got a pretty good sandwich and then we didn’t have to wait long for the next flight either. I got onto the next plane and remembered me and my grandma are sitting in row of three with nobody between us.  So far travelling today has been very easy.  Ans this is our long flight.  And it seems like it’ll go well.  Also I was looking at this picture of a cat I took on my trip and then I heard this meowing and I thought I was going crazy but really a passenger brought like,  three cats in their carriers and they’re meowing a lot because they’re scared.  I took a picture of one in it’s little carrier thing.  So cute.  It’s going to be meowing all flight. 

Ugh so we went on the first two flights,  one was 1 1/2 hours,  one was 10 hours.  Then our one we just got off of was 4 hours.  Too much flying for me.  Grandma didn’t plan well with the taxi at all of course.  So we’re just sitting around and she doesn’t know what she’s doing. 

I’ll be glad to be rid of all that once I get home.  I’m tired and just want to rest.  But this has been a good trip and I’m lucky to have been able to go.  

My Trip: Day 15

No wake up call,  no schedule really,  most of the people from the tour already left and are on their long flights heading home or wherever they’re heading. We head downstairs to have breakfast and a couple people from our tour are still here.  enough for us all to sit at a table.  Feels weird not seeing everyone that’s usually here.  I feel kind of sad actually.  It’s like…  The people I’ve seen every morning for the past two weeks are gone.  I’ll probably never see them again.  It’s oddly sad to me.  

Getting up early and having to rush to eat our breakfast and get on the bus.  I really loved that for some weird reason.  Maybe I feel sad  because I’m used to that schedule and I’m a guy who once I get in a pattern and schedule, I stick to it.  So I feel sad because I’m out of schedule right now and it feels wrong.  Not seeing anyone from our group anywhere,  not having a certain time to have to get ready for.  I feel weird about it all.  I kind of feel like how you feel after you finish a show after binging it on Netflix or maybe watching it every week for years.  You get used to the habit of seeing it at a certain time or you get used to the characters being around you but once you finish it you start to feel sad because it’s like they’re gone.  That’s the best way to describe how I’m feeling.  

I keep thinking about what’s happening next.  Because on the tour, we were in a different country almost everyday.  We woke up around 6 everyday after the wake up call in the room.  We’d hurry and get dressed and then we’d hurry and eat our fancy breakfast.  Then we’d all get on that coach bus of ours,  ready to see what’s next. Something very different each day.  That’s so against my nature but for some reason I loved not knowing what we’d see next.  I loved being in that schedule and pattern,  hearing the plans from Mario as we drove out of the city we’d stay in.  Ugh,  This is a weird feeling I’m having.  I wonder if there’s a word for it. It kind of also feels like a break up in a way.  Looking at the pictures of my trip and wishing I could go into the picture and live it again.  Very weird feeling. 

Well,  since we have no schedule and we have already ventured through Sofia,  where we’re staying.  we’re just hanging out in our room for a little bit.  fortunately we only have about an hour flight today.  Not even that bad.  I thought we’d a have a lot of travelling but I guess the place we’re going isn’t far.  We’re going to be there a night I think?  Hopefully.  Then we leave and have an extremely long day of travelling that I’m so not looking forward to.  

I miss my girlfriend.  Haven’t been able to skype her here because I share a room with my grandma and I don’t want her listening.  The time zone difference is crazy between me and her.  It’s usually 3 hours but now it’s much more.  

I’ve just been laying in my hotel room for hours.  I’m kinda of done with this trip.  I’ve had an amazing experience that I’ll never forget but I’m just wanting to go home now.  Not much else I’m interested in where we’re going.  I don’t think a 10ish hour car ride tomorrow is going to be worth it.  Wish we could have left when everyone else did.  But oh well,  nothing I can do but just try to enjoy the time I have left in Europe. 

Getting on and off the plane was pretty easy. It was only an hour flight and it barely took any time at all.  We arrived in Bucharest and we got a taxi ride to our hotel.  The taxi driver was incredibly nice and offered to stop for us to get water and he told us where things were and stuff.  But he ended up charging us more than necessary I think.  The currency here is about 3-4 times an American dollar.  

the night life here is great.  Music playing everywhere you go. There’s a bar right outsidw our room and I think the music will be playing all night probably.  I really think this place would be almost as good as Split,  Croatia but my grandma wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone.  In Split I peft her at the hotel and walked alone outside while people were partying and I wanted so bad to do that here but she wouldn’t just go back to the hotel room.  But oh well,  I got some good pictures and I walked a decent amount evem if it was slow having to wait for her old ass. 

The people here are really nice. The girl behind the desk in the hotel said she’d get us breakfast to go because we’re getting a tour early in the morning before their breakfast.  I want to come back to this city by myself or with some friends.  I really like it here for some reason. 

Well,  it was a long day and mainly didn’t do anything but the things I did do were fun so that’s good.  Dracula castle tour for tomorrow and then coming home the next day. 

My Trip: Day 14

Today’s been a pretty good last day with the people of the tour.  We woke up and we had a decent breakfast in the hotel.  Then we all gathered to go out and walk to the market.  This was the only annoying part of the day.  

I was expecting this to be a day where we all just split up and do our own thing. But they were trying to make it a big group deal.  It was fucking annoying because we just wanted to go shopping while the old farts wanted to go see the museum and stuff.  And us young kids were using our phones to lead them to where they wanted to go.  But all they did was complain the whole time about how they thought we were not going the right direction.  They were over there looking at their maps and the position of the sun while we were using our GPS.  A long story short,  we got there and we left them there.  

Me,  the girls,  and their grandma and aunt all walked to the market area and we looked at all the shops.  One of the girls is really,  really bossy and she tries to make her younger sister do everything.  I feel bad for the sister because she gets annoyed and I feel like she thinks everyone takes her older sister’s side.  When really I’m taking hers.  Then she kind of pouts and walks with the grandma the whole day.  Which is slightly immature but I kind of don’t blame her.  

Anyways,  I bought a wallet made out of a German newspaper that was made in the 30s.  Plus some other stuff like magazines and stuff.  The stuff in the store was made entirely out of recycled material.  I really liked it actually.  And my wallet is really cool. 

We walked about 7 hours and we took the subway back to our hotel.  Then I just kind of rested and took a shower and then we went downstairs to have a beer.  

Then at 6:50 we all gathered around the lobby and got ready to get on a bus to take us to our restaurant we’re having our goodbye dinner at.  Still can’t believe this is the last night with these people.  The days have gone by so so fast.  

The dinner was good but maybe not as good as ao was thinking it’d be.  I was hoping it’d be more like the Vienna vineyards like the first night we stayed here.  It wasn’t as good and we only go one glass of wine so…  What’s even the point.  

No but the food was good and we got to spend our last moments with our new friends.  As were given several courses of food and also got to watch the entertainers dancing and singing.  They also danced in fire or something like that but I didn’t get to see that part. 

All in all,  it was a good last night.  Many memories were made on this trip and I’m so happy I went.  

This isn’t officially my last day of the trip but it pretty much is the last day because for the next couple days it’ll just be me and my grandma.  It won’t be that fun anymore. 

My Trip: Day 1

We we’re driven to the Vancouver Airport by my uncle and we checked our bags in.  Now we’re just waiting to go through security.  our flight isn’t for like,  two hours.  My grandma hasn’t annoyed me too bad yet. I think she’s making an effort not to be.  She has asked me a few times about facebook and stuff which I blocked her on years and years ago.  She asked to take a picture of me and I just said sure.  Cause usually she doesn’t even ask,  she’ll just take it.  But I was wanting to reward good behavior so I said fine.  Then she said she couldn’t tag me because we’re not friends.  Not like I care if she can tag me or not. 

I was sort of nervous going through the Canadian Border because of what happened last time I went through it. But it went super easy. They asked my uncle where he worked which I found weird.  But it went really quick.  I wish we didn’t have to wait so long to get on the plane.  We are getting to our destination TOMORROW and it’ll be morning. So I’m going to be exhausted.  I slept two hours last night because I’m an idiot.  So I’ll sleep as much as I can on the plane.  We’re stopping in Frankfurt to switch planes. 
 

One Year of This Blog 

Wow.  I wrote my first post on here exactly one year ago.  Just another thing to show how much my life has changed. I totally remember writing it too.  I remember I was working hard at Zodiac Aerospace and I would write a little in it during my breaks and lunch time.  I remember being sort of excited to try it out and have something to relate with my ex with.  I had school after work that day and I remember it was pouring down rain as I walked home from school at 9:40 PM.  I guess I had told my ex that I made the blog because I remember she wrote a little post about how I started it.  I remember she called me her “muse” and I had to look it up because I didn’t know what that meant. 

I didn’t write in this nearly as much as I did after the relationship ended.  Guess I didn’t have a whole lot that I felt I needed to vent or get off my chest.  

So much has changed in my life since I wrote my first post on this blog.  The tone and emotion of this blog has changed a little too.  I feel like the blog has gone through a few phases to go along with how my life has gone and changed.  

I don’t really feel like I have much of a community within this blog and the readers but that’s fine.  This has helped me tremendously as I’ve used it to vent when my life has been shitty to me.  I wrote in this every day during last fall and I think it helped to do that.  Felt good to get things off my chest to anyone willing to read.  Felt good to pour out all my sadness and anger and any emotion consuming me.  

Who knows what I’ll write about next but I’m glad I have this blog to turn to if I need it. 

Things I like about myself

I’ve been really bothered by negative thoughts recently so I would like to be nothing but positive about myself on here.  

I like how I look behind me EVERY TIME I go through a door to see if there is someone for me to keep the door open for.  I do this even when I know for a fact I’m all alone.  It was just some great habit I picked up when I was little and I’ve done it ever since.  I just think it’s very respectful to keep a door open for someone.  Shows you care enough not to focus on just yourself.  That you’re making the effort to keep a door open for this random stranger even though you know you both have things to do.  

I like how much I love hearing about other people’s problems.  Not like I want people to have issues, but when they come to ME to rant to.  It makes me feel so happy,  and so important. I could sit and listen to someone’s problems all damn day. When I feel like a friend is about to rant to me I get so excited and I listen really intently.  I love how I’m like this.  It will make me a great husband and a great friend.  My future wife will know she can spew all of her problems at me and I will listen to every one of them.  And if people knew that about me maybe they’d want to be my friend more.  

Sort of random,  and I don’t know if I necessarily like this or care about this.  But my future wife will really appreciate that I lift the seat up when I pee.  Too much information maybe,  sorry.  I just know for a fact she will be hearing all her friends complaining about their husbands and she won’t share many of the same complaints because I’ll knock out most of the common bad habits that husbands tend to have.  

I love how much I want to have a family.  I don’t think a lot of boys are as into wanting a family as I am.  I have wanted my own family for a very long time.  It’s why I’m so obsessed with finding the right girl for me. Once I find her,  the beginning to my life will start. We won’t have kids right away but regardless we will have our own family of two.  I like feeling different.  That I am abnormal to want these kinds of things.  And maybe I’m not,  I like feeling like it though. 

I like how calm my voice sounds.  I think when I talk I sound really relaxed and care free.  It’s definitely the opposite of what I usually am.  So if I can sound like I’m just relaxed all the time I kind of like that for some reason.  

I like how happy I feel for other people I may not even know.  I see couples holding hands and I feel really happy (envious)  of them.  I saw this really nerdy looking guy at my home towns board game shop and he was playing a board game with his girlfriend or date and she was pretty attractive but she looked like she was having so much fun.  I enjoyed that night a lot because I spent it day dreaming about him working the nerve to ask her out and her thinking about saying no but deciding to go and having a lot of fun and realizing the guy is really nice so she falls in love…  Stuff like that,  It just makes me so happy for them. 

I love how much empathy I have.  I really won’t do much of anything I wouldn’t like if someone did to me.  I really try to think about how someone is feeling.  I think that really helps with helping people and giving advice.  I think it will help me and my future wife.  As long ad I don’t get weird expectations for them to follow.   

Okay I’m really tired.  There’s some things I like about myself.  I know there’s more but I can’t stay awake. 

I’m Okay (Onto new Beginnings!) 

So I looked at her instagram one last time (for a while at least.)  Or course I see her with her new boyfriend,  calling him things she used to call me. I would be a liar if I said my insides weren’t on fire, and not because of the burrito I had for dinner. I would be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt to see.  
It’s 100% natural for me to be a little hurt to see that stuff. I was with her for a long time,  she was my first love and that’s just something she will always be to me.  So yes,  to see her and him like that I will full heartily admit that It hurt a little.  

But as a surprise to me,  I was okay.  I didn’t cry,  I didn’t freak out,  I didn’t have a ton of memories of her pouring into my head.  I was okay.  I simply looked at them and said “alright,  so this is what she’s up to nowadays.” and I got off.  I think that’s a wonderful sign.  That I’m getting better and I won’t cry anymore.  

I think I’m going to be done talking about her.  I think that phase of my blog is over.  I know it’s pretty much all I’ve written about for the most part but it’s getting old.  Feelings are feelings,  shit happens,  love dies sometimes.  I will keep the memories of her with me until my last breath.  She was a big part of my life for a year.  I will always be able to say 2015 was an amazing and interesting year for me. Plus I graduated that year so it’ll be easy to remember.  I will always have stories about her.  My kids will know about her and so will their kids. But I think I’m going to be okay.

I will have my bad days,  I know I may see/smell/feel/hear something that will remind me of her and I guess I just will deal with that in a way that’s calm and collected.  I’m done with the sobbing and the kinds of nights that leave me questioning why I’m even here. I know I will miss her,  I will miss certain things about her for a very long time.  

I’m okay though! I will find someone new.  I won’t be alone forever but I know somedays I may feel that way. Don’t expect me to be this relaxed all of the time.  No,  I guarantee that I will post more about how depressed I’m feeling when I’m having a bad day.  That’s what this blog is basically.  

Right now though,  I feel proud of myself for finally getting over a big hurdle I feel like I just went over.  I’m happy that I’m able to say I’m okay.  I’m happy that she has found a good guy.  I have actually talked to that guy and in all honesty,  I didn’t have a bad feeling about him.  My intuition is actually really good.  And I just didn’t sense anything bad from him.  I’m happy she found someone like that.  I was nervous she would give into loneliness and go with someone who wasn’t right for her. (Admittedly, that’s probably what’ll happen to yours truly.)  But I am glad she didn’t do that.  

So even if I’m totally having a bad day regarding her in some way.  I will not post anything about it on here.  I will continue to bitch about being alone and all that. But when it has to do with her,  I am done.  I may still post tips about long distance relationship and advice stuff maybe,  maybe not.   This blog that I started for her and continued it for me,  will now only be about ME.  Until my next princess comes along. 

Thanks for sticking in there waiting for me to finally start really getting over her.  I truly feel like I have reached a new stage and I cannot be happier.  I am moving along in life and I will always look back to see what kind of life I lived and with who,  but my present is what I’m going to focus on now!  

-Cameron