My Girlfriend 

(I’m using the same pic as before because it’s so true) 

I know I wrote a little bit about her when we first started but I figured I should post an update.  Not sure what all I wrote before so hope I don’t repeat anything. 

She’s a breath of fresh air  There’s been times I find myself thinking we’re going to get into a fight because that’s just something I guess I was conditioned into doing before but then she just brushes it off whatever it is and we move on.  I had a problem in the beginning with getting defensive at times.  Like I went to my friend’s house who’s a girl and I didn’t even tell my girlfriend because I was used to fighting constantly the whole time I’m with my friends about how much I prioritize my attention.  So when I told her I was at my friend’s I started instantly trying to start a fight  and she’s just like what are you doing?  She doesn’t care when I’m with friends and she doesn’t get jealous.  which allows me to do the same.  No more stress,  just trust and a worry free relationship. 

I thought about this the other day;  that if my girlfriend broke up with me I would be very sad,  I’d miss her and miss seeing her.  But…  It wouldn’t stop me from living my life.  It wouldn’t be the end of the world.  And that’s because I made sure to tell myself over and over since the day we started going out that I don’t NEED her to be happy.  I don’t rely on her for anything actually. That’s the mistake I made before,  I  did something against my nature and that’s hold someone way high on the totem pole. I thought of my ex as my entire world and of course I do that now but not the same way.  When I think about her dumping me I don’t get watery eyed like I would have before.  I don’t worry myself to exhaustion each night about us ending.  And that doesn’t mean I don’t love her as much.  Not at all,  it just means I’ve matured.  I don’t rely on anyone to make me happy.  She makes me happy but I don’t need just her for me to be happy.  I have plenty other things that make me happy. 

 It’s a fucking great feeling having all the worries off my chest and to be able to just breathe.  To be able to just enjoy each day I have with her and not be scared about us ending.  I tell her everything.  No more keeping stuff to myself in fear of it starting a fight.  I can tell her everything and she’s understanding and doesn’t get mad.  When I go to my best friend’s house I am never on my phone because my girlfriend doesn’t like talking to me when I’m with my friend because she knows I don’t see him much.  She doesn’t care that I might not talk to her much that night.  Because she knows I’ll talk to her when I can.  

Not to mention she’s my age.  Older than me by 21 days.  Great to not have that be a factor in any of our fights or a reason for any of them.  She’s also very mature and that allows me to be mature as well.  

Just…  This is how it should be.  This is how a relationship should be like.  I got bad in my last one because that’s just how we were both conditioned to acting.  We were used to fighting,  jealousy,  holding things from each other,  etc.  But if I just make sure to start this relationship right and just close off all the bad shit before it gets bad then that’s how the relationship will be.  It’s like training a dog,  you stop their bsd behavior before they keep doing it and they don’t know it’s bad.  That’s what went wrong before.  We didn’t stop our bad behavior and it got worse.  I hope the same won’t happen this time. 

She’s the anti-mainstream,  non conforming girlfriend that I’ve been waiting for.  She tells people what she thinks and she doesn’t act like somebody else.  she’s the opposite of fake for sure. 

Anyways so wow,  this year started off so bad but look where I am now.  Look how much can change.  If you’re not n a bad spot in life just take a breath and wait.  Don’t do something drastic because I promise things will change.  

(by the way apparently this is my hundredth post so that’s cool.) 

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My Trip: Day 14

Today’s been a pretty good last day with the people of the tour.  We woke up and we had a decent breakfast in the hotel.  Then we all gathered to go out and walk to the market.  This was the only annoying part of the day.  

I was expecting this to be a day where we all just split up and do our own thing. But they were trying to make it a big group deal.  It was fucking annoying because we just wanted to go shopping while the old farts wanted to go see the museum and stuff.  And us young kids were using our phones to lead them to where they wanted to go.  But all they did was complain the whole time about how they thought we were not going the right direction.  They were over there looking at their maps and the position of the sun while we were using our GPS.  A long story short,  we got there and we left them there.  

Me,  the girls,  and their grandma and aunt all walked to the market area and we looked at all the shops.  One of the girls is really,  really bossy and she tries to make her younger sister do everything.  I feel bad for the sister because she gets annoyed and I feel like she thinks everyone takes her older sister’s side.  When really I’m taking hers.  Then she kind of pouts and walks with the grandma the whole day.  Which is slightly immature but I kind of don’t blame her.  

Anyways,  I bought a wallet made out of a German newspaper that was made in the 30s.  Plus some other stuff like magazines and stuff.  The stuff in the store was made entirely out of recycled material.  I really liked it actually.  And my wallet is really cool. 

We walked about 7 hours and we took the subway back to our hotel.  Then I just kind of rested and took a shower and then we went downstairs to have a beer.  

Then at 6:50 we all gathered around the lobby and got ready to get on a bus to take us to our restaurant we’re having our goodbye dinner at.  Still can’t believe this is the last night with these people.  The days have gone by so so fast.  

The dinner was good but maybe not as good as ao was thinking it’d be.  I was hoping it’d be more like the Vienna vineyards like the first night we stayed here.  It wasn’t as good and we only go one glass of wine so…  What’s even the point.  

No but the food was good and we got to spend our last moments with our new friends.  As were given several courses of food and also got to watch the entertainers dancing and singing.  They also danced in fire or something like that but I didn’t get to see that part. 

All in all,  it was a good last night.  Many memories were made on this trip and I’m so happy I went.  

This isn’t officially my last day of the trip but it pretty much is the last day because for the next couple days it’ll just be me and my grandma.  It won’t be that fun anymore.